Get Crystal Clear

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If you have read the last two articles then you will have realised that a sensation of feeling stuck and not happy with your current situation or being faced with a crossroads position in either your professional and or personal life are just two triggers that can cause us to take stock and change things for the better.

So, let’s assume that in some way you have decided you need to make some changes what next? This step is vital for your success and it is often skimmed over. Having decided in what areas you want to make some changes this step ensures you get crystal clear in your own mind what you are aiming for and what good looks like. If there is a measurable outcome or way of confirming you have reached your ideal place then write this down, take a photograph, share with someone close anything that commits this goal in your mind. If we get this clarity early in the change process then any future decision making becomes a lot easier when we reference our final clear destination.

Here is an example of how clear this needs to be:

Current situation is a freelance language teacher is currently feeling burnt out with juggling working part time at a school, private clients, motherhood and looking after herself. When working on getting a crystal-clear picture of what she wants her future week to look like it looked like this

Monday – work at school 9.30-1pm

Tuesday – private clients 10-12 and 1-3

Wed – day off for exercise/social catchups

Thursday – work at school 9.30-1pm Evening private clients 6-8

Friday – morning lesson prep afternoon exercise/ social

Saturday – family time

Sunday – morning exercise / afternoon family time

When looking at this picture the client agreed this would tick all the boxes and meet the financial requirements of her life and get her back feeling good again with time for her own wellbeing.

It also helped when asked by private clients when she gave lessons the answer was clear either Tuesday daytime or Thursday evenings and if full would keep a wait list.

Having done the work of getting crystal clear on what she wanted the next challenge is having the personal discipline to keep to the plan.

So are you crystal clear in what you want the future to look like whether it be work, leisure, wellbeing the process is the same.

 

 

Sandra Webber works as a coach to both business and private clients who want to achieve more. To find out more visit www.sandrawebbercoaching.com  

When Things Don’t Go To Plan

 

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The 12 Emotional Steps

I am a planner by nature and whenever I embark on a project the first thing I do is draw up a master plan. This normally works in my favour enabling me to manage workload, meet deadlines, engage other involved parties and set up contingencies in case things go wrong. So when I think I have planned for every eventuality and something happens that blows the plan completely out of the water it is quite a shock and an experience that isn’t that familiar.

  • The first emotion is shock – wow I wasn’t expecting that!
  • The second emotion is disbelief – how did that happen, events that were completely unpredictable with the knowledge at that given time.
  • The third is anger – how can this be happening to me?
  • The fourth is disappointment – the master plan didn’t work and I thought it would
  • The fifth is uncertainty – now what do I do, I thought this was going to happen and now it isn’t
  • The sixth emotion is annoyance as others try and rationalise and suggest alternative courses of action to the one you wanted.
  • The seventh – bouncing between acceptance and disappointment gradually more days of acceptance rather than any other emotion
  • The eighth – learning and questions, so what did I learn about the plan, the process and myself and what do I want to do now
  • The ninth – possible alternatives come into mind and get serious consideration
  • The tenth – acceptance of situation, acceptance of any personal learnings and the acceptance of an alternative way forwards
  • The eleventh – uncertainty again during the evaluation of all alternatives and decision on one way forwards – will it be as good as the one I originally planned for
  • The twelfth – enthusiasm around the new alternative chosen

Now the big question – how much planning do I do for my new option? – should I be less attached to the outcome and more fluid with my planning. Should I trust in what will be will be rather than planning things with military precision and going through the twelve emotional steps above or is that just life?