The 12 Emotional Steps
I am a planner by nature and whenever I embark on a project the first thing I do is draw up a master plan. This normally works in my favour enabling me to manage workload, meet deadlines, engage other involved parties and set up contingencies in case things go wrong. So when I think I have planned for every eventuality and something happens that blows the plan completely out of the water it is quite a shock and an experience that isn’t that familiar.
- The first emotion is shock – wow I wasn’t expecting that!
- The second emotion is disbelief – how did that happen, events that were completely unpredictable with the knowledge at that given time.
- The third is anger – how can this be happening to me?
- The fourth is disappointment – the master plan didn’t work and I thought it would
- The fifth is uncertainty – now what do I do, I thought this was going to happen and now it isn’t
- The sixth emotion is annoyance as others try and rationalise and suggest alternative courses of action to the one you wanted.
- The seventh – bouncing between acceptance and disappointment gradually more days of acceptance rather than any other emotion
- The eighth – learning and questions, so what did I learn about the plan, the process and myself and what do I want to do now
- The ninth – possible alternatives come into mind and get serious consideration
- The tenth – acceptance of situation, acceptance of any personal learnings and the acceptance of an alternative way forwards
- The eleventh – uncertainty again during the evaluation of all alternatives and decision on one way forwards – will it be as good as the one I originally planned for
- The twelfth – enthusiasm around the new alternative chosen
Now the big question – how much planning do I do for my new option? – should I be less attached to the outcome and more fluid with my planning. Should I trust in what will be will be rather than planning things with military precision and going through the twelve emotional steps above or is that just life?